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to bingeyou wanted me to love you
but i couldn't run;
for the first time,
my feet wouldn't carry me.
you screamed the world into oblivion,
pushing the hurt away,
onto my shoulders but i couldn't love you
and you saw it.
the truth is a fragile being,
it cracks and it burns,
twisting the lies into pretty realities
and broken hearts lay scattered
i wanted to be loyal
to you, to her, but most of all,
the irregular breaths tainting air
i know i'm alive
through the numbness that pulls,
there was a pull once;
the call to leap into some grave unknown,
but the engine stalled
and my heart doesn't have the tools.
i want you to get togetherhe grooves to a beat
i cannot resist
i cannot keep up with.
i think back to the rooftop views
two kids on top of a dome
where we shared a universe
back when i was whole
he moves in a language
speaking in tongues i
and he's st germain
while i'm tom waits
but here i sit aching
because i speak in riddles
he cannot comprehend
with touches designed
to beguile and entice
but with each smile i back away
leaving a trail of
confusion in wake
but the truth i embrace
is one that's been coming
the tides of time keep
he grooves to a rhythm
that's faster than mine
and i'm my own sun but
luckywould i to write
the thinly spread fear
the faults that make you
is the painful step
we must take
how do i
separate ego from self
is all that i embody
and he asks
like i have an answer
in my head
the drops fall
into my bed
except he's become
and i'll remember forever
the isosceles triangle
that changed me
would i to write
the words tumble
black upon skin
nineteen no longer
and at my age
to my despair
my eyes are open
the delta represents
and i'm in-
my problem is
i'm too privileged
and shouldn't we
all be so lucky
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TIME MOVES ONI thought hard about the words I wanted to write, the things I could say and came up blank. The truth is, I realize that you’re elsewhere, in a place where we cannot exist together anymore but your wide eyes are the only light I ever knew, and while it no longer burns with the intensity of a million suns, it still aches – a dull throb that occurs in the in-between moments before I open my eyes, while my mind is confused by slumber.
I don’t quite know how to put the things I feel into words because I don’t want to burden you with my emotions, but feeling guilty for expressing how I feel has me in a catch-22. Receiving the news that your rib had found another is literally one of the worst kinds of hurt to ever feel. It’s saying you weren’t the best fit, and where do you go with that, really?
I wanted to tell you that these were the days after a funeral for a person who is very much alive, but that’s not quite right. You were the love of my life a
nine lettersi wrote you
a million messages:
full of scribblings from
a broken heart
a healing heart
a martyr'd girl
a lost soul
a damned poet.
i wrote you
a million thoughts
wrapped in guilt
wrapped in fate
wrapped in faux honesty
wrapped in guise
and in all honesty
the simplicity of three
i still can't write the truth
the meaning both clear
all at once;
these thoughts hurl me
into the stratosphere
and i'm still floating
because gravity can't
weigh down the dreams
of torment past.
but here they are
because you never apologized
but neither did i,
and in three simple words
the chains fall down:
i fucked up.
the world continues
and my inbox is full
with letters unsent
words without meaning
- click -
A Work in Progress: Lyrics for a New Souli still get a thrill when you say my name
sometimes i wish we had never changed
but i'm glad we did, i'm glad we did
cause i'm in love with who i am
still stare at the car in the garage
still wish i could drive on and on
on a road that never ends, on a road that never ends
but we'll never get very far
cause who we are isn't out there somewhere
it's right here inside
and running doesn't change it
running doesn't change it
running doesn't change anything
the greatness you hold lies dormant within
it's a powerful feeling
and running doesn't change it
running doesn't change it
running doesn't change anything
it no longer hurts, i guess i survived
i'm not ashamed anymore
to admit it was you, to admit it was you
that made me feel alive
cause the opposite of winner don't mean loser
the end of hope is where it begins
and like the fire spreads, i'm spreading my wings
brighter than i've ever been
cause who you are isn't out there somewhere
it's right here inside
and running didn't change me
hoping for shooting stars
sending a prayer
blowing out candles
puffing out dandelions
watching for ladybugs
jinxing others. . .
the kind of silly things i do
just to wish for being with you.
fought for recovery after i lost myself in battlethey exclaim that one cannot recover on their own.
that it requires an army of family and friends
to find ones way out of that state-of-mind, victorious
so i began to build an army, and begun with you, my first (and last) warrior
i bestowed upon you the means to comprehend and
the capacity to acquire a cure;
but you overlooked the concept
all my strategically placed signs blew away as you stormed by,
stating that i was merely having an internal squabble— while you?
Oh! You were on the front lines of a real war!
To you, and to them, the thoughts that plague.
i failed to mention that this battle was one of disease and infection,
this had embedded its roots deeply within the person
i (oops) forgot to say that it was an epidemic- a plague.
that this battle was fought beneath the surface of your skin,
beneath the surface of your subconscious;
as subtle as a shadow, spreading and spreading and—
you were too concerned with your own disputes and
your own casua
phantasm.though I am but a friend,
I dream of your soft hands
intertwining with mine.
I open my weary eyes,
and the phantasm is over.
please. . .
make this my reality.
he's not beautiful in the way you want him to be halo and horns
he's got hair that's naturally black
with a blonde spot from when he bleached it
and dyed it blue before going back to
his natural color.
it's coarse but it's getting softer
and right now it's cut short
but when his bangs grow out his hair turns
curly and unable to be tamed
which is how i like it because
that's how he is
mask and facepaint
his eyes are a shade of brown that
light up when he's happy into this sort of
gorgeous hazel color reminding me of
stained glass windows or broken beer bottles
shimmering in the sunlight.
his nose is rounded at the tip
and he's got freckles and the occasional pimple
and full lips that i hope our kids inherit
paired with a smile that i sometimes think
is the reason why the ice caps are melting
(he's just so warm).
tail and wings
five inches under six feet tall
and says that he'd die if i get taller than him
his arms are muscled and toned with
shoulders and a collarbone tha
The Finest RomanceThy love lives inside of me like a component,
We’re so much alike like exponents,
We did not buy our love, we own it,
I caught you in my catcher’s mitt,
Thy embrace is so tight I have to admit,
But not one I’ll ever omit,
Hopefully the only love I’ll ever have to submit,
For you will be with me forever, so our love, I’ll never forget!
If you’re the ship than I’m the captain who always goes down with thee,
For the day we get married I won’t get cold feet and flee,
For thy art the reason I am able to get down on one knee,
The only one who will hear my plea,
When I ask thou to marry me,
Thine face will light up like the sun hitting the sea,
You know I am honest and sincere, not make believe,
I grew up a long time ago, I’m not a boy who likes to tease,
Because you’re the only woman I want to see!
I hold you with ease,
Give you all of my company,
For you and I together is why I invest my time,
For with thee, I have papers to sign,
ElevateMy mood rises,
As fast as it falls,
Never perfectly in the middle,
Straight into a wall.
I wish it was my destiny,
I wish it was my fate,
I wish to let you lift me up,
A hand full of cards,
That I am forced to fold.
Lift me up above the clouds,
Where the rain can’t touch me,
Take me up to your angelic home,
Where you and I can just be.
I want you to know,
It’s never too late,
I’ll always be here for you,
Together we can Elevate.
I always think of you and me,
The lengths we could go,
The love I have for you,
And its endless flow.
I wish I could get an opportunity,
Just one date,
Then I could show you,
You make my heartbeat Elevate.
Steal you (Blissful Heavens)I don't want the blissful heavens to come
and steal you a way from me. Without you
the air to my lungs don't fill in the
spaces flowers use to grow when you touched
my heart; the acid tears that come rolling
down these cheeks of mines won't have your
benign fingers to wipe away.
Those hazel eyes of yours was a destiny
the stars never had plan upon meeting
my brown eyes furthering meeting my broken,
bend soul that hiding from the pain it
numbed a lot time ago.
You know the wordsWhen the written word just isn't enough
What do I do?
This piece of me is crying, screaming
I can't move, I can't breathe
It slams into me when I least expect it
And it brings me down
I'm a pile of red stained glass from the blown-out window, buried just below the topsoil
Wipe of the soot, and there I am
But careful, I am sharp
Please don't let our reds mix.
The written words just aren't enough
And I'm pining for a touch
Not the written ones displayed on this seven inch rectangle of glass
And circuitry, and electricity.
I need the spoken word
The final blows
The nails to the coffin that resides inside my chest
Seal it with a voice
And I will be free.
My love, my desireMy love,
the reason that I thrive.
mean nothing when you are by my side.
is turned upside down and grows still.
their rhythm flowing into one.
the reason that I live.
everything I do is for you.
My heart's pride and joy,
my soul's very core,
it is you only I adore.
i shouldn't resent having lefti shouldn't resent
be burning from
the resignation that
you wouldn't try.
i cried you out
into rivers that flow
gurgling with doubt
and each breath i take
takes my sanity away
and still i struggle
for your silence.
you're the thread that threatens
the lingering hurt that festers
and each moment tightens
the noose around my neck.
i am burning from your lack
of utter dis-regret.
i shouldn't resent
the fact that i
had the courage to leave
because had i stayed
i wouldn't have learnt
the difference between love
Keep in Touch!
A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More