rebel-brat

I have started journals with “I met someone”, decorated in tears, ersatz heartbreak the colour of blue painted his eyes in Van Gogh starry nights and chased highs to forget the blows. I have tasted champagne on his lips, strawberry tart and regret bitter, strange emptiness that spreads through all the crevices he touched and all the un-nameable places where Sadness has parked. I have started poems with “I think I’m in love”, spelt with flowery language and rhyming couplets, pantomiming at relationships, flourished and embellished by checklists, one, two, three, fall. fall, fall, fallen. Before I really knew Lo

Dear Stranger, yesterday I poured words into a glass bottle and shook the marbles about just to hear a clinking sound. A thrill, the thrill of leaving flooded through my being and I smiled; self-satisfied, intense gooey smiles bursting with love and joy and felt simply alive. Each year, I come home to a different lesson from summer and each moment I take with me lingers, but only for a moment. This year, the last summer of my young life I intend to go in search of that one, heartbreaking beautiful smile that will leave me quite warmly breathless. To search for the dream that will change my view of things, to kiss a One who

Verse One: Try To understand why I'm saying goodbye Babe, it's not like I want to leave you behind not at all These days, weren't meant to last but I wish that I could still fall with you Chorus: Letting go seems harder than leaving behind all of these memories cause I don't want to Say goodbye to you my love, my best friend. Say goodbye to you memories I cannot stand Why do these days have to end with this moment Last song so spin me around I wanna tell you once more I love you. Verse Two: Remembering all the good times we shared Swing me up higher I'm falling too fast Birds sing flittering from the tree top

A and I met outside a pub the first month I moved to Shanghai. In true drunk girl fashion, she proclaimed that we were “BFF’s” and dragged me into a cab to another club. The only difference was that out of all the people she met drunkenly, I was the only one that stuck. Days bled into months as I experienced Shanghai the way most foreigners do in the beginning: fast and hard. So often, I woke up with no idea of what day it was. Shanghai was the fairytale: one endless weekend where everything was in excess.   To a kid from suburban Vancouver, where underage drinking and smoking pot was the most hardcore thing I’d ever

The memories; they linger, like unwanted dust. A sturdy mountain of boxes, containing pictures of us. The books you loved too much, now, they are all gone. Photo frames are empty, Those photographs are torn. Your old school play-station, still occupies a place. But our once busy apartment, is just an empty space. Downstairs, the fast food joint, the place where we first met? Our table is all gone now; they've changed the entire "concept". Just like how "our song", used to play everyday; it was top of the song charts. Now it's a romantic cliche. Your smell; a mix of after shave, cologne, nutmeg and sweat; is slowly fading from the furnitu

Grew up believing, that LOVE overcomes all things. Now I live life knowing, Love is nothing but a feeling. LOVE is a beautiful illusionist, She paints pictures in our hearts. But when the paint chips away, Our worlds just fall apart. Of all the fairytales and goodnight kisses, Sweet dreams that won't ever be. Was there anytime, just even once, That you were you with me? Always believed that there was a real prince charming, Guess those were all fantasies, Of what a perfect love should've been. But the waves have stopped crashing, The sea no longer roars. Depressed, empty, hurt, alone. My heart will love no more

The days are growing longer and hotter. The sky was a lovely shade of lavender and blue This morning, this afternoon, and By this evening, it had faded into A beautiful pink reminiscent to the cotton candy Little kids enjoy buying at carnivals. The sun was kind today too. Burning down heavily upon the streets, The gold glinting off the congested roads And honking cars creating a beautiful Symphony contrasting sharply with the Cacophony of rustling leaves and bird song; That one had to strain hard to hear. The television was blasting out rock music All day as my little brother lounged on the couch, His butt glued onto the faux-l

he calls me lapis lazuli his in a blink of an eye and I can deny him nothing. the girl he believes beautiful sees through all my scars telling me he will never care but still I hope because if I don't then there truly isn't anything left for me to believe in. the alphabet's stuck in my gut as the soup burns a new hole in my mouth; Tongue feeling too heavy. he calls me his lapis lazuli because blue is my favourite color and within his gaze I wrap myself in all forms of navy waving as the sky boat calls me further and further away from his honey eyes a silent echo, perfect reflection of my own. we are both just costume jewe

i have this delusion that if i kissed you, these feelings of lust will just go away and i'll be able to sink back into my blue-collared, white-washed reality  and forget all the green afternoons, you cycling circles around me, our playful flirting and serious conversations, the stolen moments of serenity, of heart pounding wildly as i hold your hand, fingers curled around each other. so i have this delusion that if i kissed you, i can go back to being who i used to be and let you go, after having tasted you, returning to the him i know i belong with. only i think that would break your heart (and most importantly, his) so i'l

i want to write the ruthless, luckless passion of long distance. chained by the double edges of sick perfection we were cheated of what could have been. i want to feel the warmth of chilly sun stinging new colours into my skin recreating brown through languid swims. the past fills my heart with dreadful longing, stealing impassioned kisses filling my mind with wildflower thoughts sprouts like weed until all i'm left with is the loveless, luckless pairing of distances and hoping unwanted longing.